BCS? More like BC-BS...

Tough loss for the Buckeyes tonight. I honestly thought they were going to pull it off and hold on for the win.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t give two shits about the Buckeyes, Jim Tressel, “Beanie”, or anything related to Ohio State, their athletic program, or football in general. It’s just that I give two less shits about anything related to Texas so when forced to pick a side in the contest, I picked – well, honestly I picked neither but I would rather have seen Texas lose, primarily because their coach’s name is “Mac” and their quarterback’s name is “Colt”. Seriously, they named their son “Colt”. With a name like that, when he fails to get drafted by even the Detroit Lions, his only option is to return to Texas and start a line of “Colt McCoy” BBQ sauces.

It doesn’t matter though; the game was meaningless within the context of the BCS bowl system. Without a playoff, any game other than the BCS championship game is completely illegitimate and an absolute farce. But I’m not an authority on the BCS so I won’t debate its legitimacy here. I’d rather debate the legitimacy of the entire sport of football.

This game was the perfect example of how the sport is a basic crock of shit. In their final drive, Texas was faced with a 4^th down situation. Prior to the snap the commentator anti-climactically and incorrectly said, “The game comes down to this play…” Douchebag. It didn’t. They snapped they ball, “Colt” completed a pass to his wide receiver who was tackled right at the first down marker. Then the officials basically determined the outcome of the game with the most bullshit procedure in all of sports: The chain measurement.

This is what happens: First, the ball is placed “exactly” on the line of scrimmage by some referee who arbitrarily decides “exactly” where the last play ended. 25 yards away, some guy whose professional resume includes, “Holding a stick with a chain attached to it,” arbitrarily places said stick “exactly” on the line where the ball is on the field. When a play ends close to the first down marker, another referee arbitrarily places the ball “exactly” where the forward motion of the player who was carrying the ball ended, which is typically somewhere around a pile of 6 to 22 massive men, some in excess of 300 pounds. Then they bring the chains out so the guy holding the stick can arbitrarily place it “exactly” where the line of scrimmage used to be, they stretch the chain out and after all of this subjective, arbitrary bullshit, they determine precisely whether it is a first down by a matter of a less than an inch at times.

Tell me, please, how any of that is remotely legitimate. And of course, they always explain it away by saying, “Football comes down to a matter of inches…” Bullshit. You have a 250 pound beast throwing himself head first into a 300 pound monster until they end up in a pile of steroid injected flesh on the ground and you’re going to tell me the sport comes down to a matter of inches?

It would be like you going to the hospital for an appendectomy; the nurses do all the prep work; the surgeon gets scrubbed in; they have the x-rays; they know exactly what they're going to do; then just before the surgeon puts the scalpel to your skin, some dude who typically cleans the toilets walks in, places a giant “X” on you abdomen with a fat magic marker and that is precisely where the surgeon jumps in.

“Mr Smith, I regret to inform you your appendectomy was not successful. Instead we removed this, which we believe is your bladder. We’re sorry, but this surgery thing just comes down to a matter of inches. Also, one of your kidneys is declaring itself eligible for the transplant draft. On the bright side, your entire digestive line will be returning for their senior season. Good luck next year.”