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I feel bad that I haven't been keeping up on writing about Project Runway on the blog, especially after I went into exhaustive detail about how awesome it is. The truth is, this season really kind of sucks. That's not to say it isn't still interesting, because it is and I'm still watching every week, but that's mainly just because of Heidi and Tim. What I mean is, all of the designers really, really suck. There are a few that are decent, like Korto and Leanne, but the rest have been absolute rubbish. Jerell, for instance, will make it to the final three and Bryant Park where I fully expect his fashion week runway designs will be costumes from the set of Where the Wild Things Are. Just look at this "hat" he wears:

What a douche-lick.

Kenley needs to get smashed in the face with a tennis racket. Not only have her designs gotten progressively worse, she's gotten progressively more annoying. Rather than work on designing new fashions she needs to work on designing a new voice. It's so grating, like a blender grinding up gravel. Her avant-garde design was the worst. They say "avant-garde" translates literally to "advance guard." Personally I think it translates to "unwearable." 

She actually had the audacity to stand up on the runway and defend this piece of shit. She was like, [imagine blender grinding gravel] "it is so avant-garde, no one's ever seen this before!" Bullshit. I've seen it before:

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I'm just glad Stella and Blayne are finally gone. If you recall, Stella got eliminated when she tried to introduce her signature leather into a design for Diane Von Furstenberg. First of all, leather is not a signature. There are only three cases when you're allowed to wear leather: 1). When you're riding a motorcycle (or scooter… ok, not when you're riding a scooter); 2). When you're the lead singer for a rock band from the 80's; 3) When you're the lead guitarist in a rock band from the 80's. If you play bass, drums, keyboards, saxophone, rhythm guitar, banjo, cymbals, triangle, cow bell, whatever, you need to be in denim and cotton. No leather for you. Secondly, who the fuck is Diane Von Furstenberg? Sara was incredulous when I didn't know who she was, "what!?! You don't know who Diane Von Furstenberg is!?! She only invented the wrap dress!" The what? "The wrap dress!" The wrap dress? I'm pretty sure the first Homo erectus to skin a woolly mammoth and don its fury coat invented the wrap dress. I'm also pretty sure the Scottish perfected the wrap dress, circa the 13^th century. Have you not seen Braveheart?

Stella came back, along with the rest of the eliminated contestants to help out the remaining contestants in the avant-garde challenge. Blayne received the Stella kiss of death when they were randomly matched up but truthfully he was one swatch of neon fabric away from getting booted every single episode and his time ran out much later than I expected. Their avante-garde creation was more of an avant abomination. You can even see the look on the model's face is like, "I can't believe I'm wearing this shit. This is going to destroy my image as a coke snorting anorexic/bulimic emotionally detached model/no-other-career-aspirations-yet-I'm-fortunately-very-photogenic model."

While the designers have been a huge disappointment, it's the judges that have been sucking it up even more as usual. How is it that they share the exact same opinion on every garment that comes down the runway? What is this - Fox News? No one can have an original opinion of their own, choosing instead to recycle the same talking points over and over while they pat each other on the ass? They actually all agreed this dress was a winner:

What the fuck! Have you not seen Braveheart!

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